Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Good daughters

Very often, I do favors for people, and because I want to focus on preparing for the show, I started telling people NO, and all of a sudden, I'm not a nice person anymore. Some are nice, and ask me what I need, and I tell them TIME and MONEY. Others just get offended. Now, I know who my real friends are.

Anyway, I read the entire script for the second time, and once again, I was moved quite a bit. The first time I've read it, I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I got physically exhausted. Because I can relate to both Kaylin and Mother Wu. I, too, have been away from my family in Japan for, actually, A LOT longer than Kaylin. (Let's not talk about how long...;P) Reading Mother's lines/songs, I realized what must have been going through in my own mother's head.

I want to be a good daughter and do more things for my mother, but doing things for her and doing things for myself, often times, don't go well together. For that, I am so far away. I want to make more money so that I can provide for my aging mother, and I want to make her happy by telling her how well I am doing. I just don't feel that I am giving her back the love that she's given me.

By saying I can relate to the Mother, I'm not saying I have children of my own. :D But, I've had a few relationships in which I had been like a mother to the boys. Not a good thing. You never get what you want or need.

As far as playing Jessie, it's funny how I got into her character so quickly, even though I'm more of a simple kind of person. I actually went in the first rehearsal with TRANSPARENCY and OPENNESS rather than RIGIDITY by studying too much. Okay, this sounds like an excuse for not knowing my lines very well. :(

The way Patrick is directing is very helpful when building my character, because it gives me a frame to play with and stretch within.

I began to remember that I was an actor. I forgot about that fact..., since I've been doing those easy, good-paying "acting" gigs such as prints and videos.

Hope I can get my instinct back to work as soon as possible. And, yes, my singing voice as well.


Sending good thoughts to all of you,




Mariko April 2

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